Saturday, August 4, 2012

Grocery Lessons

I made a late(ish) night trip to the grocery, and I learned a valuable lesson.  I haven't really been doing well in the 12x12 challenge, so here is my slightly tongue-in-cheek version of the lesson as this month's picture book. (My apologies to Laura Numeroff.)

If You Make a Late-Night Trip to the Grocery 

If you make a late-night trip to the grocery, you'll see blueberries. You'll notice they're on sale and want to buy them. When you buy them, the nice people at the grocery will put them on the top of the sack to make them convenient to reach.

When you get home, you'll carry all of the sacks at once into the dark kitchen. Since the kitchen is dark, you won't see the blueberries fall out of the sack. The clamshell that the blueberries are in will pop open, and the blueberries will roll all over the floor.

Since the kitchen is dark, you'll step in the blueberries that rolled all over the floor. Blueberries are very slippery. Slippery blueberries will squish under your feet and make you lose your balance. Falling doesn't hurt. Landing does.

When you get up off the floor, you will turn on the light and see blueberries (and squished blueberries) all over the floor. You'll want to sweep those up so no one else falls. Sweeping up blueberries is very much like herding cats.

Once you get the blueberries into a pile, you'll try to scoop them up. When you scoop them up, blueberries will roll all over the floor again.

I know, the ending needs work. Seriously, though, blueberries are slippery. Also, landing hurts.